dear diary,
had another appointment today. she helped me sort out somethings relationship-wise. i learned that jaim and i need to take some time to REALLY communicate. no more of these fights that solve our problems for like all of twelve minutes. tonight we decided on a "date/communitcation" night. every sunday we are going to take the time to at least talk thoroughly about our week. the good the bad and the ugly. we both decided that the things we discuss from now on are either going to get fixed permanently or not. either it will be an ongoing issue that we will continue to discuss until it is fixed, or it if we both agree that it is fixed, it will not be brought up again unless its a new issue. the only reason im posting this plan is because im hoping it will serve as a reminder to both of us that we can push through this as long as we can stick to the plan. the fact that we even have a plan is more of a step in the right direction.. something we have been lacking for quite some time. if it doesnt work, then we have the capability of re-evaluation. thats the beauty of a long term relationship... neither of us are willing to give up when things get tough.
we also discussed the idea of me starting medication. i told her that i dont want to take it, but if she doesnt have the patience or the ability to support me indefinitely while im struggling, then we need to consider me taking medication to at least alleviate a couple of our problems. we both decided that we'll try to keep going without me being on drugs for now, to see if the counselling will continue to help.
lets see how it goes!!!
ill keep you posted ;)
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