dear diary,
so yesterday was the biggest failure ever. everyone conched out on the party and we ended up leaving rather than sleeping over like we were supposed to. i hate when plans get changed. this put me in a really bad mood and i feel really bad cause jaim was trying to cheer me up as usual but i turned it down everytime. i think i really cheer myself up and thats the way it is. i think i tell her that everytime too... i know it sounds dumb but i really do just need to cool off and think about things on my own when im upset. i dont know how to let her cheer me up. i cant do it. i think if i need something from her i can just ask. im good at knowing what i want. so when i want something i ask for it. jaim is kinda the opposite. she expects it to happen automatically. like when shes in a bad mood, she "needs" me... what that means i sometimes dont know. sometimes it means she wants me to let her get what she wants (childish and reminds me of a spoiled brat) and sometimes she just wants to cuddle. either way i know how i am... and i dont know if changing it is something i want/need to do. i think being able to deal with shit on my own is fine and i will ask. and if i need jaim to cheer me up, i will let her know that i need her to, even if i dont know what it is will cheer me up
i'll keep you posted ;)
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